Monday, August 3, 2009

sweet peace.


"Pain throws your heart to the ground,
Love turns the whole thing around...
No, it won't all go the way, it should,
But I know the heart of life is good."
-John Mayer

My mom always tells me to "pray for peace within yourself; for when you are at peace, there is not much else you need." So that's what I do. I don't pray for a job, I don't pray that my heart stops missing my home so dearly, I don't even pray for answers to all of my questions. I just pray for peace. I pray that God's love and strength will consume my entire being so completely that peace will occupy my heart. Without doubt and worry and fear and anger, I have much more strength to believe--strength to believe that everything is unfolding just as it should. Sometimes I just want to scream at God "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! DO YOU EVEN HEAR ME??" and so I do. And He reminds me that faith in Him is a mighty, mighty thing. He reminds me that my timing is not His timing (does he not know I'm a control freak?) Ah, yes, He does. What a wonderful, peaceful feeling...

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